Not Economically Viable

April 9th, 2008

So today I was doing nothing on the internet. My dad was finishing up his tax returns.

I look over. He held it, waiting to prodigiously slab another dab on the label.
There was no way I would passively watch his waste; For two more seconds I stared.

Perhaps my eyes were deceiving me? Maybe the magnetic flux created my dad moving it through the magnetic field of earth was creating a damn current through my cornea causing some damn hallucination?

Nope, he continued trying to glue the label on the tax return envelope.

I could stand it, I screamed out when I could ascertain my suspicions,
“What the fuck. Dad thats Chapstick. Not Glue stick”
“什么?”
My precious chapstick man. That shit is like orgasm of the lip on extended periods of windiness.
Now it is measly half of what it is before.

At least the IRS will have pleasantness if anyone tries to lick the address label.

Written By eric

14 Comments para “Not Economically Viable”

  1. wayne Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 12:14 am

    AHHAHAHAHAHAH WOW
    I DUGG THIS ARTICLE

    rock on with your chapstick dude >_>

  2. elise Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 10:17 am

    hahaha, that’s like my sister rubbing my chapstick all over my beloved homework…

  3. cool_one91 Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 11:03 am

    LOL omgah whats up with guys and their chapsticks,

    my brother brings it around with him everywhere and applies it every five minutes = =

  4. jeylan Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 11:52 am

    BAHAHAHAHAHA
    oh man… that’s like how i confuse my clarinet cork grease and chapstick… same diameter, same length, it’s hard to tell them apart! >

  5. jeylan Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am

    IT DELETED MY COMMENT! GRR. continuation:

    […] but how did your dad not realize it was chapstick if it wasn’t sticking? or… was it? o_O you have magickal lip balm..

    [disclaimer: i have never applied cork grease to my face. ever]

  6. eric Dice:
    April 10th, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    it’s weird, the chapstick was sticking pretty well, surprisingly. you know, guys like chapstick cause
    1. it feels great
    and 2. we’re expressing our secret desires to apply lipstick.

    chapstick… man that stuff costs more than gas. a gallon of chapstick is like what… 100 sticks? $100?

    (beloved homework? i know.)

  7. yuan Dice:
    April 11th, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    wow, that was a nice little story there!! pretty descriptive!!
    how are you?
    how is your break other than losing half your chapstick??

    haha my computer says chapstick is spelled wrong…it offers:
    chopstick
    chap stick
    chaps tick
    =]

  8. trent Dice:
    April 14th, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    my dad never understands me when i speak english

  9. ceylan Dice:
    April 15th, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    yo, death cab for cutie concert.
    April 23
    http://www.livenation.com/event/getEvent/eventId/319843/

    check it out.

  10. Adrian Lee Dice:
    April 15th, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    I suggest that you stop dry humping your SAT book and go to the event advertised above.

  11. eric Dice:
    April 16th, 2008 at 7:04 pm

    zomg all that dry humping is causing great

    chaffing.

  12. yuan Dice:
    April 20th, 2008 at 8:33 am

    what’s our softball team name?!

    About the sweatshirts, i’m kinda confused…uh i’ll talk to you about it in person?…on monday hopefully…

  13. jack Dice:
    May 5th, 2008 at 9:16 am

    LOL

  14. d095029551cc Dice:
    May 11th, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    d095029551cc…

    d095029551cc5ec0d092…

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