still unimpressive

I would like to start off by saying that while I am writing this, you are at prom.

It has been a few weeks since AP testing– I think it’s safe now. Don’t want to get my scores canceled by writing a post comparing an AP test to whoring.
Of the many parts of the AP tests for which I have remarks, what has intrigued me the most is how last year I had worried more about the actual tests than this year. In fact, I did more practice tests and spent more time studying for each test last year than this year.

Somehow, I walked in and out of the testing room more confident than last year.

Is it because the tests I took were easier? Were the review books better?
I’m sure both ideas have some merit but after much contemplation I have concluded, with 95% confidence that much like hookering, APing is an acquired skill. The first time is really painful an ya gotta do a lot of research and shit, but you know, in subsequent business you’re so used to the feeling that wham bam thank you ma’am is nothing more than a reflex. AP testing is just a reflex. All the FRQs and MCs are the same crap with a different fetish. You finish the business quickly and without getting too involved. And each one gets easier and easier. Sometimes you fuck up but who cares.

Something very real happened after AP test. I actually felt really bad. I felt bad in the typical MySpace emo sense. The kind of bad that isn’t really caused by anything. I had become so detached from reality that all my sense were manifested within Princeton Review and Barrons.

I woke this morning with one thought:

I’ve sold myself out! And for what! I’m so ronery.