still unimpressive

So today I was doing nothing on the internet. My dad was finishing up his tax returns.

I look over. He held it, waiting to prodigiously slab another dab on the label.
There was no way I would passively watch his waste; For two more seconds I stared.

Perhaps my eyes were deceiving me? Maybe the magnetic flux created my dad moving it through the magnetic field of earth was creating a damn current through my cornea causing some damn hallucination?

Nope, he continued trying to glue the label on the tax return envelope.

I could stand it, I screamed out when I could ascertain my suspicions,
“What the fuck. Dad thats Chapstick. Not Glue stick”
“什么?”
My precious chapstick man. That shit is like orgasm of the lip on extended periods of windiness.
Now it is measly half of what it is before.

At least the IRS will have pleasantness if anyone tries to lick the address label.